Tram’s Entry

This has been such an extraordinary year. I learned so much about myself. This is the lifestyle I was meant for, I know it is.

Master Gabriel has taken me and all the other submissive to his home. Today, we are supposed to really think about our time with our respective dominants. Tomorrow is the collaring ceremony and I am terrified. I can see by the looks on the other submissives’ faces they are feeling the same thing. We are not allowed to talk with each other and I’m rather glad for that. However, we are allowed to talk with Master Gabriel if we need to. Seeing him now as to compare to how he is when he has visited Mistress over this last year…it’s like seeing two different people. It’s really hard to explain. When he visited Mistress he acted as though I wasn’t there, but now, his kindness is almost overwhelming. We all hung on his words as he explained how the collaring was going to work. Nobody made a sound when he spoke of not thinking about our dominant’s feelings right now that we were to focus on what we wanted and needed. And his open invitation to speak with him today, you could tell he meant it. It makes me wonder if this is the man his submissive gets to see, gets to serve, or is he like he is when he is at Mistress’ home?

To tell you the truth I don’t have much to think about. I know in my heart that Mistress Delilah is who I want to serve. I love her. I find myself smiling just writing those words down. For a novice Mistress she knew what I needed, because she took the time to find out. I wonder how many other dominants have done this with there submissives. Every part of this year was special. Even the times me and Mistress were angry with each other, though thankfully those times were few and far between. Mistress makes me feel loved, cherished and safe. She makes me feel like a man and my protective nature has blossomed. Every sexual moment, every tender moment, every quiet moment and even the hectic ones I will always cherish.

My only fear now is that Mistress doesn’t feel the same. Have I earned her collar? It is this fear that makes me almost sick. What will I do if she doesn’t collar me? I can’t serve another Mistress. I know in my heart I can’t.

This last entry Mistress will read. I’m curious what her entry will say. Mistress, if you choose not to collar me then I want to tell you now, thank you for all that you have taught me. And if I have earned your collar, I love you so much my heart is about to burst.