Tuesday, June 30, 2009

"Mine" and "Surrender to Me" have been released. "Perfect Submission" will be released in August. This trilogy features Mistress Delilah's journey and the BDSM community she belongs to.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Mistress Entry
This will be a very lonely day. Tram has gone with the other submissive to Master Gabriel’s house. Tram needs time to think about tomorrow and the collaring ceremony.

I have already decided to give Tram my collar. I had it made just for him a week ago. My only fear is that he will reject me. That somewhere during this year I didn’t give him what he needed. My naivety might have been too much for him. I felt like I was stumbling around in the dark through a lot of this year. I tried to be the best Mistress I could for him. God, I hoped I have proved to him just how much his submission means to me. It’s thanks to him that I know without a doubt that this is what I was meant to be. It’s thanks to his patient that I was able to hone my skills. It was because of the warmth he gave me that I was able to grow as I have.

Tram, I will not worry about tomorrow. Somehow, I know in my heart that you will accept my collar. I love you my submissive. Thank you for taking this journey with me. And hopefully, this journey has just begun.
Tram’s Entry

This has been such an extraordinary year. I learned so much about myself. This is the lifestyle I was meant for, I know it is.

Master Gabriel has taken me and all the other submissive to his home. Today, we are supposed to really think about our time with our respective dominants. Tomorrow is the collaring ceremony and I am terrified. I can see by the looks on the other submissives’ faces they are feeling the same thing. We are not allowed to talk with each other and I’m rather glad for that. However, we are allowed to talk with Master Gabriel if we need to. Seeing him now as to compare to how he is when he has visited Mistress over this last year…it’s like seeing two different people. It’s really hard to explain. When he visited Mistress he acted as though I wasn’t there, but now, his kindness is almost overwhelming. We all hung on his words as he explained how the collaring was going to work. Nobody made a sound when he spoke of not thinking about our dominant’s feelings right now that we were to focus on what we wanted and needed. And his open invitation to speak with him today, you could tell he meant it. It makes me wonder if this is the man his submissive gets to see, gets to serve, or is he like he is when he is at Mistress’ home?

To tell you the truth I don’t have much to think about. I know in my heart that Mistress Delilah is who I want to serve. I love her. I find myself smiling just writing those words down. For a novice Mistress she knew what I needed, because she took the time to find out. I wonder how many other dominants have done this with there submissives. Every part of this year was special. Even the times me and Mistress were angry with each other, though thankfully those times were few and far between. Mistress makes me feel loved, cherished and safe. She makes me feel like a man and my protective nature has blossomed. Every sexual moment, every tender moment, every quiet moment and even the hectic ones I will always cherish.

My only fear now is that Mistress doesn’t feel the same. Have I earned her collar? It is this fear that makes me almost sick. What will I do if she doesn’t collar me? I can’t serve another Mistress. I know in my heart I can’t.

This last entry Mistress will read. I’m curious what her entry will say. Mistress, if you choose not to collar me then I want to tell you now, thank you for all that you have taught me. And if I have earned your collar, I love you so much my heart is about to burst.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Mistress Entry.

I am a bit annoyed that Master Gabriel didn’t tell me about the “the exit” meeting. I was totally shocked when Alex explained to me what it was. I tried to hide my shock. I reached down and stroke Tram’s hair reassuring him that I had no intention of breaking our contract. Then I realized what if Tram wanted out. He must have sensed what I was feeling because he kissed my hand a purred “My Mistress”. I never really thought about Tram not being happy in our relationship. This sent a flood of doubt. I really needed to think this over. Tram seemed happy, but so did so many other couples who had ended their contract today.

Master Gabriel left that submissive Michael with me. That Michael is so big and yet I had no fear of him at all. I should have paid a little attention to him, but my mind was on Tram. Relieved, yet full of doubt about the progress of our relationship. Did Tram need a sterner Mistress? I tend to be a bit on the gentle side. I see how most of the Mistress treat their submissive, to me, seems like borderline cruelty. Yet, their submissives seemed to adore them anyways. If Tram needed a sterner Mistress I wouldn’t be able to give him that. It’s just not me.

Before I knew it Master Gabriela came and took Michael back. Shortly afterwards the ending of the contracts began. Master James broke his contract with his submissive. I looked around and saw the sadness in whoever was being left behind. When it was all over I had to leave. I couldn’t stand being here any longer. Tram seemed pleased with this and we hurried home.

I needed to think, to reevaluate what I was giving Tram. I so want him to be happy and content. I needed him beside me, so we went up to my bed and just lay in each other’s arms. I wondered if Tram was thinking about today’s events, judging by the way he was holding me so tightly I think he was.
Tram’s entry

Today me and Mistress went to this mandatory meeting that Master Gabriel was having at the club. Mistress had no idea what this meeting was about. I sure didn’t either. The only thing we knew it was called the ‘the exit’ meeting. What in the world was that suppose to mean?

When we arrived there was a strange vibe to the room. The looks on everyone’s face almost seemed ominous. Alex came over and greeted Mistress and led us over to his table. Master Raven and a Master James were already sitting there. Alex explained to Mistress what this meeting was for. My heart stopped. This meeting was for dominants and submissives to be released from their contracts if one or the other wasn’t happy. I felt Mistress’ hand stroke my hair. I looked up and became instantly relieved. She told me without saying a word she had no intention on letting me go. I could see she had the same worry I did. I reached up and grabbed her hand and gently kissed it and said “My Mistress”. I could feel her instantly relax. Leaving our contract never occurred to me. In fact, I’m hoping to become her permit submissive or whatever Master Gabriel calls it. Still, I passed this test and Mistress was happy with me so far, but would she collar me at the end of this year? I would love nothing more than to wear her collar. She is the Mistress I want, hell she is what I need. I already decided, though I would never tell Mistress this, if she didn’t collar me I would not pursue this lifestyle. How could I? No Mistress could ever live up to her.

Master Gabriel asked Mistress to watch that submissive Michael for a little while. Mistress, of course, agreed right away. I have to admit I did feel a little jealous. I don’t want another man kneeling beside my Mistress. Especially since that lost look Michael’s face had suddenly disappeared as he knelt there by Mistress. Fortunately, Master Gabriel came back in a short while and took Michael away with him.

When the meeting started I couldn’t help but to feel sorry for the ones who were breaking their contracts. Master James broke his contract with his female submissive. Her crying bothered me, yet, I was grateful that my Mistress was pleased enough with me to stay in our contract. Mistress didn’t want to stay and we left right after the breaking of the contracts. I was glad we did. She said very little and only wanted me to sleep with her. Again, I was grateful for this. I just wanted to hold her.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Mistress’ Entry

I had such a fun morning with Tram. All I wanted to do was kiss him and feel him next to me. I know my sweet submissive must have been aching with need after our make out session, but I wanted to make him wait for release. Sometimes, delaying release made it all the sweeter. I let him wait for about a half hour than watched as he pleasured himself. Damn, that man looks so fucking hot when he does that. I told him to make it last for at least ten minutes and like a good submissive he obeyed completely. I about came watching his cum shooting out of his cock. He begged me to allow him to pleasure me and I was tempted, I was so turned on by watching him. However, I had no time. I had to meet with Master Gabriel.

I left Tram to go about his chores and I headed to Master Gabriel’s home. His pretty submissive showed me to the waiting room. I saw Alex sitting there. I have to admit I was surprised to see him. As usual he smiled a most charming smile at me and just said that he thought that we might be in trouble.

After a moment Master Gabriel came into the room. He asked me to keep silent as he spoke with Alex. Master Gabriel asked him all sorts of questions about Raven and at the end of the barrage of questions he said to Alex, “Love Raven if you must, but leave what’s mine alone.” I was total confused by this, but Alex seemed to know what Master Gabriel was saying. Alex seemed angry when Master Gabriel dismissed him with a simple gesture of his hand.

I watched Alex leave then felt the heat of Master Gabriel’s gaze. I looked over and became almost paralyzed by the intensity of his gaze. He told me I looked very beautiful today and finally freed me of his intense gaze. I asked him why he asked me to come over and all he said was that he wanted my company. However, I felt there was more to this, but I didn’t want to pursue what that was.

I spent a pleasant afternoon with Master Gabriel. He talked about that submissive Michael. He also spoke about the changes he wanted to make to the club and wanted my opinion. Can you imagine a man like that wanting my opinion. I really didn’t know what to say. He looked at me and smile, then thank me for allowing him to bounce a few ideas off me. He walked me to the door. I thought he was going to kiss me, but he only kissed the top of my head. On the drive home I tried to sort out this afternoon. There was something going on that I didn’t know about. One thing was for sure Alex had to know. Once I got home and after I greeted Tram, I went to my office and called Alex. I asked him what Gabriel meant by what he said to Alex.
“You are what is his,” Alex said. He went on to say that Master Gabriel was angry about us fucking. And that he almost got thrown out of the club, but Raven stopped that from happening.

After I got off the phone with Alex I went to find Tram. Alex had to be wrong about Master Gabriel.
Tram’s Entry

For a week after the Valentine Day party Mistress treated me exceptionally well. She praised me often and allowed me to share her bed.

Yesterday, we started to watch a movie together then she just reached over and pulled me to her. She spent a good hour just kissing me. God, did that feel good, but after that she went to her office, leaving me wanting. I wanted to touch myself so badly to relieve my need. However, it is a rule that I’m never to pleasure myself unless Mistress gives me permission first. It took me a few moments to find my willpower. After a gained some measure of control and went about my chores. My cock stayed rock hard the whole time. After about a half hour Mistress came into the kitchen. She commanded me to stop what I was doing, remove my clothes and sit on the floor. I, of course, obeyed immediately. My excitement grew hearing that purr to her voice. She pulled up a chair and sat just in front of me. She commanded me to pleasure myself, but to make it last at least ten minutes. If I failed to do so I would be chained to the wall of the playroom. Needing to please my Mistress and not really wanting to spend hours chained to the wall I managed to last more than ten minutes before I came. That look on her face intensified my pleasure. She purred at me as she leaned forward and stroked my cheek as I came down from my pleasure high. I could make out “good boy” and “So beautiful”, but beyond that I was incapable of focusing on what she was saying. My orgasm had been so intense it took several minutes for me to regain myself.

I begged Mistress to allow me to pleasure her. She told me before how turned on she gets watching me pleasure myself. She denied my request and told me to get back to my chores. She was going out for the afternoon and she couldn’t take me with her. Master Gabriel only wanted her. I bet he does. I felt my jealous start to bubble up inside, but with one stroke of her hand to my cheek and that look of love on her face I instantly calm down. I could feel how much she adored me and I love the feeling of safety and warmth it gave me.

I watched her walk out the door and couldn’t help but wonder what Master Gabriel wanted from my Mistress.