This first week has been kind of awkward. I don’t want to push Tram to hard. Though, I couldn’t resist getting him naked and tying him up. I wanted to admire my submissive’s beautiful body. He was such a good boy. He whimpered when I told him he wasn’t allow to come this week. I gave the poor thing a cock ring to help him out. I think it’s important not to start our journey with sex. Plus, the anticipation is so delicious.
I’m going shopping today for a dildo for Tram’s beautiful ass. I can’t wait to fuck him with it. Plus, I’m buying some kinky clothes for him for when we play. I think however, he will wear those clothes just for me. I will dress him more conservatively when we go out. He looks so good in his jeans and maybe a form fitting leather shirt. I saw the most delicious looking shirt that would be perfect for him.
I sat Tram down for a serious talk. I needed to know more about him to be able to be a better Mistress for him. My sexy sub., is an architect. I wasn’t expecting that, but I suppose he would have had some sort job in his normal like, an architect…it does suit him. I will have to think of some scenes to incorporate his profession. He said he had a couple months of vacation time. I told him to use only one month of it while we get to know each other and to save the other days for just in case. I am going to see if he can work from home and make sure all of things he needs for work are brought here. He seemed to really enjoy our afternoon of just talking with each other. I learned a lot about him. He’s such a kind and sweet man.
After our talk we went back to being Mistress and submissive. I told him we will be having these talks at least every couple of weeks. His smile was so genuine. Yesterday, Master Gabriel showed up for a visit. Tram was very tense. I saw him looking at Gabriel’s submissive Elizabeth. She was so prime and proper, very well trained. Of course, I would expect Gabriel to have a well-trained submissive. I will talked to Tram after I come back from shopping and assure him that he is doing really well so far, and not to compare himself to Elizabeth. No doubt she has been on the scene for sometime. I thought for a moment that Gabriel was flirting with me, but quickly dismissed the idea. What in the world would a man like Gabriel see in me? I know Gabriel thinks I will make a good Mistress and I’m flattered that he believes that.
Well, I have arrived at the store. I can’t wait to play with Tram later.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Nov 5 Tram’s entry
Mistress had a long talk with me the other day. She wanted me to tell her all about myself, plus she wanted to make sure that I did make all the necessary preparations for the year that we would be together, you know, like sublease my apartment, changing my address etc. It was nice talking with her. I was allowed to sit next to her on her bed. She wanted to know everything about me, my likes, dislikes. She even wanted to know my favorite movie, song, and book. She listened carefully, like she was storing everything she heard into her memory. It made me feel…special. No lover I ever had listen to me like Mistress did.
I’m new to this intense lifestyle. I did play with lovers, let them tie me up, spank me etc., none of them made me feel the way Mistress has made me feel so far. It’s kind of sad in a way, I have only know Mistress for a little over a week and I already feel so connected with her. Some of my old lovers I had known for a year or longer. Never, did I ever feel like this with any of them.
Mistress has been really easy on me, but I think that is going to change shortly, especially after our talk. She has tied me up and spanked me, but that has been it so far. She hasn’t allowed me to come. And I haven’t been able to touch her in a sexual way. I really hope she will allow me the pleasure.
Master Gabriel stopped by yesterday afternoon. That man freaks me out. And that perfect female submissive he has makes me feel self-conscious. Mistress said she won’t read this journal and I believe her. I need to write this thought down. Master Gabriel…there is just something that bugs me about him. Perhaps, I’m just jealous. The way he looks at Mistress. I don’t like it. What if he loves her? I can’t compete with a man like that. Still, he is dominant and Mistress is as well. I wouldn’t think they would be compatible. I’m going to try not to think about it. It’s not my place.
Mistress is going shopping today for me. I asked her what was she going to buy me and she said it was going to be a surprise. I can’t wait to see what it is.
The hardest part so far is not being able to come. I have to force myself not to think about Mistress in a sexual way and focus only on serving her. Oh damn, my cock is getting hard just thinking about Mistress’s body. I better push these thoughts out my mind and quickly.
I’m new to this intense lifestyle. I did play with lovers, let them tie me up, spank me etc., none of them made me feel the way Mistress has made me feel so far. It’s kind of sad in a way, I have only know Mistress for a little over a week and I already feel so connected with her. Some of my old lovers I had known for a year or longer. Never, did I ever feel like this with any of them.
Mistress has been really easy on me, but I think that is going to change shortly, especially after our talk. She has tied me up and spanked me, but that has been it so far. She hasn’t allowed me to come. And I haven’t been able to touch her in a sexual way. I really hope she will allow me the pleasure.
Master Gabriel stopped by yesterday afternoon. That man freaks me out. And that perfect female submissive he has makes me feel self-conscious. Mistress said she won’t read this journal and I believe her. I need to write this thought down. Master Gabriel…there is just something that bugs me about him. Perhaps, I’m just jealous. The way he looks at Mistress. I don’t like it. What if he loves her? I can’t compete with a man like that. Still, he is dominant and Mistress is as well. I wouldn’t think they would be compatible. I’m going to try not to think about it. It’s not my place.
Mistress is going shopping today for me. I asked her what was she going to buy me and she said it was going to be a surprise. I can’t wait to see what it is.
The hardest part so far is not being able to come. I have to force myself not to think about Mistress in a sexual way and focus only on serving her. Oh damn, my cock is getting hard just thinking about Mistress’s body. I better push these thoughts out my mind and quickly.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Oct 23 Submissive Tram
Mistress has provided a nice room for me, though I am disappointed that I won't be sleeping in her room. I understand earning the right to sleep with her in her bed, but she could have made me sleep on the floor beside her bed. Or even better chain me to the floor.
She is so petite and pretty. The thought of seeing a cane or crop in her delicate hands is very exciting. I was expecting someone way different, especially, when Master Gabriel told me that Mistress was forty years old. He said that she could wield a whip pretty darn good. Images of a masculine-looking woman popped into my head for some reason. When I saw her, I couldn't speak. I guess I was totally thrown off by her appearance. She wore, I guess you would call it, a business dress. Her hair is a pretty chocolate color and hangs to about her shoulders. When I was allowed to look at her full on, I got to see her pretty blue eyes. I expected her voice to be raspy, but it's so soft and gentle. Needless to say I'm pleasantly surprised by my new Mistress' appearance. It was a thrill to see she was totally different that what I expected. I know that sounds strange.
She laid out some rules, none of which were unreasonable. The one I liked the best was that she wanted us to talk openly at least once a week. During this time I could say whatever I wanted to her without fear of punishment. She wants to get to know me. To know what I want from this journey. I wasn't expecting that either.
This journal is her idea, and I think it's a good one. I just hope that I can be the submissive she needs. I already got a feeling she is the Mistress, I longed for, God, I hope I'm right about that. We have a year together. That is the contract we signed. One year to see if we are right for each other. I can't wait to find out if we are.
She is so petite and pretty. The thought of seeing a cane or crop in her delicate hands is very exciting. I was expecting someone way different, especially, when Master Gabriel told me that Mistress was forty years old. He said that she could wield a whip pretty darn good. Images of a masculine-looking woman popped into my head for some reason. When I saw her, I couldn't speak. I guess I was totally thrown off by her appearance. She wore, I guess you would call it, a business dress. Her hair is a pretty chocolate color and hangs to about her shoulders. When I was allowed to look at her full on, I got to see her pretty blue eyes. I expected her voice to be raspy, but it's so soft and gentle. Needless to say I'm pleasantly surprised by my new Mistress' appearance. It was a thrill to see she was totally different that what I expected. I know that sounds strange.
She laid out some rules, none of which were unreasonable. The one I liked the best was that she wanted us to talk openly at least once a week. During this time I could say whatever I wanted to her without fear of punishment. She wants to get to know me. To know what I want from this journey. I wasn't expecting that either.
This journal is her idea, and I think it's a good one. I just hope that I can be the submissive she needs. I already got a feeling she is the Mistress, I longed for, God, I hope I'm right about that. We have a year together. That is the contract we signed. One year to see if we are right for each other. I can't wait to find out if we are.
Oct 23 Mistress Delilah
Alex came over to my house and brought Tram with him. I heard the car pull up, and I could see Alex walking up to the door. He had his usual warm smile for me. Then he stepped aside and there was an average-sized man who looked to be in his mid-thirties. His body was well toned and from what I could see of his face, since he was busy looking at the floor, he was rather handsome in a boyish kind of way.
Alex introduced me to Tram. Tram said nothing and simply bowed. I invited Alex in for coffee. He told Tram to fetch some coffee for us. When Tram came back in he set the coffee cups in front of us, then he went to his knees beside me. It was the most erotic sight.
Alex didn't stay long and told us to enjoy getting to know each other. To be honest, I didn't know what to do at first. Sure, I was trained by Gabriel to be a Mistress; however, training and actually doing are two different things.
The first thing I did was to have Tram look at me. His eyes are the most beautiful shade of golden brown. I could see that he was just as nervous as I was. I told him that we would take it slow at first so that I may get to know him. He looked surprised, yet relieved by this.
I asked if he knew how to cook, was he good with house work, and if he was a pain slut. Though I don't mind tolling out pain I didn't really want someone who only needed pain all the time.
He said he was well-trained in everything dealing with a house, and that he wasn't a pain slut. However, he did enjoy receiving pain sometimes.
When I asked him who trained him, I was genuinely surprised to hear it was Master Gabriel that trained him at first then he went to Master Raven's home for a few weeks to refine that training. I asked him when he went to Raven's home. It was the same time I began training with Gabriel.
I took a deep breath to center myself. I had made a list of things I wanted my submissive to do. Rules are very important to a submissive. It keeps them centered. I went about telling Tram the rules. That he is to keep the house clean and prepare the meals. He is to kneel beside me when I signal for him to do so, but otherwise when he comes to attention, he is to stand up straight with his hands behind his back. To simplify, I told him that the standing position was the second position and that kneeling is the first. The third position was presenting himself to me, this entailed him coming to his hands and knees. He is always to be naked in the third position. He is to show respect to me at all times. He is not to question me, unless he has a real concern. Safe words were a most. Gabriel said the easiest to remember was red light. So this is the safe words I gave to Tram to use. Any infraction of the rules will earn him a spanking. The amount of strokes depends on the infraction.
I didn't want to overwhelm him too much. So I left it at that. He seemed to understand rather well. I showed him his room and told him if he was well behaved that he would earn the right to sleep in my bed. Then I left him to get settled in.
I told him to write down his thoughts about our journey together. He is to post this on my journal. I will make it so that we can't read what the other has written, by simply posting to the journal by text message. He seemed to like this idea.
Alex introduced me to Tram. Tram said nothing and simply bowed. I invited Alex in for coffee. He told Tram to fetch some coffee for us. When Tram came back in he set the coffee cups in front of us, then he went to his knees beside me. It was the most erotic sight.
Alex didn't stay long and told us to enjoy getting to know each other. To be honest, I didn't know what to do at first. Sure, I was trained by Gabriel to be a Mistress; however, training and actually doing are two different things.
The first thing I did was to have Tram look at me. His eyes are the most beautiful shade of golden brown. I could see that he was just as nervous as I was. I told him that we would take it slow at first so that I may get to know him. He looked surprised, yet relieved by this.
I asked if he knew how to cook, was he good with house work, and if he was a pain slut. Though I don't mind tolling out pain I didn't really want someone who only needed pain all the time.
He said he was well-trained in everything dealing with a house, and that he wasn't a pain slut. However, he did enjoy receiving pain sometimes.
When I asked him who trained him, I was genuinely surprised to hear it was Master Gabriel that trained him at first then he went to Master Raven's home for a few weeks to refine that training. I asked him when he went to Raven's home. It was the same time I began training with Gabriel.
I took a deep breath to center myself. I had made a list of things I wanted my submissive to do. Rules are very important to a submissive. It keeps them centered. I went about telling Tram the rules. That he is to keep the house clean and prepare the meals. He is to kneel beside me when I signal for him to do so, but otherwise when he comes to attention, he is to stand up straight with his hands behind his back. To simplify, I told him that the standing position was the second position and that kneeling is the first. The third position was presenting himself to me, this entailed him coming to his hands and knees. He is always to be naked in the third position. He is to show respect to me at all times. He is not to question me, unless he has a real concern. Safe words were a most. Gabriel said the easiest to remember was red light. So this is the safe words I gave to Tram to use. Any infraction of the rules will earn him a spanking. The amount of strokes depends on the infraction.
I didn't want to overwhelm him too much. So I left it at that. He seemed to understand rather well. I showed him his room and told him if he was well behaved that he would earn the right to sleep in my bed. Then I left him to get settled in.
I told him to write down his thoughts about our journey together. He is to post this on my journal. I will make it so that we can't read what the other has written, by simply posting to the journal by text message. He seemed to like this idea.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Did you ever wake up one morning and thought to yourself that your life didn’t fit anymore? That an aching burning desire was fighting to get out? I felt this many times over the last forty years. I tried ignoring these feelings. I tried denying these feelings. And yet, these feelings never went away.
I guess to really understand I must start at the beginning. A cliche, maybe, but every story must have its beginning.
I first started having these strange desires when I was rather young. While other girls my age dreams of kissing and making love to whatever guy they were in love with that particular week. I had visions of spanking, binding…exploring. These thoughts frightened me at first. I truly believed I was, I don’t know, strange…I guess that’s the best word for it. Don’t get me wrong, I adore kissing, and I certainly love fucking, but it was never enough. I pushed my strange desires aside, vowing to never think of them again. Yet, no matter how hard I try to ignore my desires they would always come back.
I married rather young. I was only nineteen. I loved my husband, but…when it came to sex he was as vanilla as they come. And at first it didn’t matter. I loved him and took great delight in giving him pleasure. As the years went by, I tried introducing kinkier things into our repertoire. To his credit he did try, but he wanted to be the dominant one. It felt wrong. I couldn’t submit to him, though his idea of domination was some spanking and trying to talk tough. It wasn’t enough. I tried dominating him, but my rather eclectic taste was way too much for him. Besides, he was very controlling in every aspect of our life together, and I’m not talking the good kind of controlling like a well trained Master would be. Oh no, he was the asshole kind of controlling. Those unfortunate enough to have this kind of controlling spouse you know what I mean. Anyways, there was no way he was giving up any control. So, yet again we hit a dead end.
I took up writing. I had to get these desires out someway. I let go and wrote sizzling stories about Masters and their submissives. I have been doing this for many years, and I am really good at weaving these stories. The one thing I found strange was that I always wrote about Masters. I believe I had only one Mistress in the roster of characters. And now that I think back, I believe it was just easier to let go if I wrote about Masters. The whole denial thing, I guess. The more I wrote about and researched this lifestyle the more I wanted to explore. Since my husband was a control freak, I thought maybe I could be a submissive. And yet again, his narrow-mind put a quick end to that. To be honest, I doubted I could have submitted to him. I needed to be the dominant one. It would take an extraordinary Master to make me want to submit.
When I realized that I wanted to be Mistress, it frightened me. It wasn’t just that I wanted to do this, I needed to…had to do this. The thought of guiding a submissive on a journey of self discovery excited me. It was more than just sex. If you are serious about this lifestyle it is always more than just sex. To truly allow someone to give themselves completely over to your care, to let them fill their need to serve, to cherish someone special…there are really no words to describe it.
Now, I will be obtaining my first submissive. And to be honest I’m afraid. His name is Tram. That’s all I know. Master Alex, acquired Tram for me. Don’t worry I will most certainly be writing about Master Alex in later entries.
But, I’m getting a little ahead of myself. You know, I did try to make things work with my husband. Hell, we were married for twenty-one years. We had two beautiful children, who are now grown and off to college, staring their lives. In fact, it was my youngest child leaving home that made me really sit back and think. Did I really want to spend any more time with a man who didn’t share my needs? Did I continue to only think about his wants, his needs, while ignoring mine? I’m not going to get into the multitude of problems my marriage had. This is not what this journal is about. By suffice to say we had a lot of problems. We were two totally different kinds of people trying to live his lifestyle. And while my children were living at home this was doable. But now, that they are grown and moving on with their lives. It was time to move on with mine. I didn’t make this decision lightly.
I moved out and sought a divorce and once it was final I started my journey of personal discovery. I won’t get too much into the details of the beginning of this journey, the main thing was it brought me to him. Alex was just set free of his contract from his former Master Raven. He was devastated to say the least. They shared a strong bound together. However, Master Raven knew Alex’s true calling and he was going to train Alex to be the Master he should be. I was there at the club when Alex came in. Master Gabriel was with him. Master Raven had sought out Gabriel’s permission to train Alex to be a Master, and this was how I got Master Gabriel’s permission to begin my training. The club had way too many Masters and only two Mistresses. He needed to balance this out. I found out later just how lucky I was to be trained by Master Gabriel, though at the time I didn’t know that. Anyhow, I trained with Alex. Master Gabriel enjoyed being around Master Raven. Though, true be told, I believe that Gabriel was in love with Raven. But that is a whole other story.
My training was tough, and I and Alex learned to confine in each other. We both were scared about becoming what we knew we should be. Gabriel wanted to hurry my training. The next auction was coming up soon and he wanted me and Alex ready.
You see Alex loves pain, well more to the point, he enjoys giving pain. He is very intense and will take a submissive right to their breaking point. Gabriel liked that.
I found out that I wanted a balance between pain and sensuality. I wanted to adore my submissive, yet I wanted to be able to give them what they needed. If my submissive needed pain I would be able to give it to them. Then the day came when Master Gabriel came to me. I thought he was going to explain how the auction worked, but it wasn’t what he did. He told me that Master Raven had a submissive for me. There was no way I was going to refuse Master Raven, after all, he was the man Alex loved. I agreed. Master Gabriel set me up with a nice house, a driver, and an allowance. I tried to refuse and he simply said that no one refuses him. I decided now wasn’t the time to make waves.
Now, Tram will be coming here. I wonder what he looks like. God, I hope he isn’t too young, I don’t want that. A ten year age difference was my limit, younger or older, I didn’t want no more than ten years between us. I guess it doesn’t really matter what Tram looks like. The only thing I really know about him is that he is new to this too. I like that. We can go on this new journey together.
I have to prepare for Tram. I will be keeping this journal to help me sort things out. I hope that I can be the Mistress that Tram needs.
I guess to really understand I must start at the beginning. A cliche, maybe, but every story must have its beginning.
I first started having these strange desires when I was rather young. While other girls my age dreams of kissing and making love to whatever guy they were in love with that particular week. I had visions of spanking, binding…exploring. These thoughts frightened me at first. I truly believed I was, I don’t know, strange…I guess that’s the best word for it. Don’t get me wrong, I adore kissing, and I certainly love fucking, but it was never enough. I pushed my strange desires aside, vowing to never think of them again. Yet, no matter how hard I try to ignore my desires they would always come back.
I married rather young. I was only nineteen. I loved my husband, but…when it came to sex he was as vanilla as they come. And at first it didn’t matter. I loved him and took great delight in giving him pleasure. As the years went by, I tried introducing kinkier things into our repertoire. To his credit he did try, but he wanted to be the dominant one. It felt wrong. I couldn’t submit to him, though his idea of domination was some spanking and trying to talk tough. It wasn’t enough. I tried dominating him, but my rather eclectic taste was way too much for him. Besides, he was very controlling in every aspect of our life together, and I’m not talking the good kind of controlling like a well trained Master would be. Oh no, he was the asshole kind of controlling. Those unfortunate enough to have this kind of controlling spouse you know what I mean. Anyways, there was no way he was giving up any control. So, yet again we hit a dead end.
I took up writing. I had to get these desires out someway. I let go and wrote sizzling stories about Masters and their submissives. I have been doing this for many years, and I am really good at weaving these stories. The one thing I found strange was that I always wrote about Masters. I believe I had only one Mistress in the roster of characters. And now that I think back, I believe it was just easier to let go if I wrote about Masters. The whole denial thing, I guess. The more I wrote about and researched this lifestyle the more I wanted to explore. Since my husband was a control freak, I thought maybe I could be a submissive. And yet again, his narrow-mind put a quick end to that. To be honest, I doubted I could have submitted to him. I needed to be the dominant one. It would take an extraordinary Master to make me want to submit.
When I realized that I wanted to be Mistress, it frightened me. It wasn’t just that I wanted to do this, I needed to…had to do this. The thought of guiding a submissive on a journey of self discovery excited me. It was more than just sex. If you are serious about this lifestyle it is always more than just sex. To truly allow someone to give themselves completely over to your care, to let them fill their need to serve, to cherish someone special…there are really no words to describe it.
Now, I will be obtaining my first submissive. And to be honest I’m afraid. His name is Tram. That’s all I know. Master Alex, acquired Tram for me. Don’t worry I will most certainly be writing about Master Alex in later entries.
But, I’m getting a little ahead of myself. You know, I did try to make things work with my husband. Hell, we were married for twenty-one years. We had two beautiful children, who are now grown and off to college, staring their lives. In fact, it was my youngest child leaving home that made me really sit back and think. Did I really want to spend any more time with a man who didn’t share my needs? Did I continue to only think about his wants, his needs, while ignoring mine? I’m not going to get into the multitude of problems my marriage had. This is not what this journal is about. By suffice to say we had a lot of problems. We were two totally different kinds of people trying to live his lifestyle. And while my children were living at home this was doable. But now, that they are grown and moving on with their lives. It was time to move on with mine. I didn’t make this decision lightly.
I moved out and sought a divorce and once it was final I started my journey of personal discovery. I won’t get too much into the details of the beginning of this journey, the main thing was it brought me to him. Alex was just set free of his contract from his former Master Raven. He was devastated to say the least. They shared a strong bound together. However, Master Raven knew Alex’s true calling and he was going to train Alex to be the Master he should be. I was there at the club when Alex came in. Master Gabriel was with him. Master Raven had sought out Gabriel’s permission to train Alex to be a Master, and this was how I got Master Gabriel’s permission to begin my training. The club had way too many Masters and only two Mistresses. He needed to balance this out. I found out later just how lucky I was to be trained by Master Gabriel, though at the time I didn’t know that. Anyhow, I trained with Alex. Master Gabriel enjoyed being around Master Raven. Though, true be told, I believe that Gabriel was in love with Raven. But that is a whole other story.
My training was tough, and I and Alex learned to confine in each other. We both were scared about becoming what we knew we should be. Gabriel wanted to hurry my training. The next auction was coming up soon and he wanted me and Alex ready.
You see Alex loves pain, well more to the point, he enjoys giving pain. He is very intense and will take a submissive right to their breaking point. Gabriel liked that.
I found out that I wanted a balance between pain and sensuality. I wanted to adore my submissive, yet I wanted to be able to give them what they needed. If my submissive needed pain I would be able to give it to them. Then the day came when Master Gabriel came to me. I thought he was going to explain how the auction worked, but it wasn’t what he did. He told me that Master Raven had a submissive for me. There was no way I was going to refuse Master Raven, after all, he was the man Alex loved. I agreed. Master Gabriel set me up with a nice house, a driver, and an allowance. I tried to refuse and he simply said that no one refuses him. I decided now wasn’t the time to make waves.
Now, Tram will be coming here. I wonder what he looks like. God, I hope he isn’t too young, I don’t want that. A ten year age difference was my limit, younger or older, I didn’t want no more than ten years between us. I guess it doesn’t really matter what Tram looks like. The only thing I really know about him is that he is new to this too. I like that. We can go on this new journey together.
I have to prepare for Tram. I will be keeping this journal to help me sort things out. I hope that I can be the Mistress that Tram needs.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
