Nov 5 Tram’s entry

Mistress had a long talk with me the other day. She wanted me to tell her all about myself, plus she wanted to make sure that I did make all the necessary preparations for the year that we would be together, you know, like sublease my apartment, changing my address etc. It was nice talking with her. I was allowed to sit next to her on her bed. She wanted to know everything about me, my likes, dislikes. She even wanted to know my favorite movie, song, and book. She listened carefully, like she was storing everything she heard into her memory. It made me feel…special. No lover I ever had listen to me like Mistress did.

I’m new to this intense lifestyle. I did play with lovers, let them tie me up, spank me etc., none of them made me feel the way Mistress has made me feel so far. It’s kind of sad in a way, I have only know Mistress for a little over a week and I already feel so connected with her. Some of my old lovers I had known for a year or longer. Never, did I ever feel like this with any of them.

Mistress has been really easy on me, but I think that is going to change shortly, especially after our talk. She has tied me up and spanked me, but that has been it so far. She hasn’t allowed me to come. And I haven’t been able to touch her in a sexual way. I really hope she will allow me the pleasure.

Master Gabriel stopped by yesterday afternoon. That man freaks me out. And that perfect female submissive he has makes me feel self-conscious. Mistress said she won’t read this journal and I believe her. I need to write this thought down. Master Gabriel…there is just something that bugs me about him. Perhaps, I’m just jealous. The way he looks at Mistress. I don’t like it. What if he loves her? I can’t compete with a man like that. Still, he is dominant and Mistress is as well. I wouldn’t think they would be compatible. I’m going to try not to think about it. It’s not my place.

Mistress is going shopping today for me. I asked her what was she going to buy me and she said it was going to be a surprise. I can’t wait to see what it is.
The hardest part so far is not being able to come. I have to force myself not to think about Mistress in a sexual way and focus only on serving her. Oh damn, my cock is getting hard just thinking about Mistress’s body. I better push these thoughts out my mind and quickly.